Breadcrumb
Take Back The Night Art
flyer by Josie Licavoli
Clara Balingit
hello dear reader! my name is clara marie balingit (they/she) and i am a writer, artist, and singer. my instagram is @animatedmud, and i'll be making a website soon! i mostly submitted poetry for this event; some are new, some are old. these poems encompass my emotions surrounding being a survivor, including grief, transformation, persistence, rage, and hope. i hope you enjoy this piece of my soul, and if you connect with these, know i'm sending gentle hugs and good love your way. i love you! keep going.
death - Clara Balingit
unnamed - Clara Balingit
Rage
by Clara Balingit
Rage
It's been steeping
in a long day of trying to let it all go.
To let go of the anxiety,
the wordlessness,
the sorrow.
The body wants to release it into the ground,
into the wind,
into the fire,
but it sits and
it steeps.
There is steam rising from the slow boil.
The hands desire to break
anything
even if they hurt themselves.
The mouth desires to scream words
they will wish they could take back.
The legs desire to kick, or run,
but it will not truly dilute
the poison in the mind's water.
The eyes, knowing,
now cry, flowing,
tears streaming,
releasing the angry flood.
The arms wrap, closely,
around the body,
holding,
it like a child
scared of the dark.
Now rocking, softly,
it whispers, slowly,
"I love you.
I've got you.
We'll get through this."
And the lungs
remind
the body
to simply
breathe.
Realization
by Clara Balingit
and how am i doing now without you?
i am doing better than with you.
i don't cry as much.
i read a little more.
i am very aware of how alone i am,
and then,
how much love i have to give.
Seed
by Clara Balingit
Sometimes I crawl inside of my own mind
and I hold my legs until I cry
and I feel, simply,
like rotting fruit
My soul decays on the edges,
the pungent scent of anguish hits the air,
worms and things crawl inside,
making me into dirt,
making me into something new,
trying to get to the seed
Over time, my color is gone,
It's brown, it's ground, I've melted off
The earth consumes me, bugs move through me,
using me and spitting me out
In a beautiful, mystical ray of light
Pandora's box opens and out from inside
Hope cracks open the seed,
and through pain, and decaying, and being remade,
I am planted
and I sprout.
Singing
by Clara Balingit
My mind will swirl and I forget how to see.
I fall quietly into miserable reverie.
I feel my feet, their thoughtful steps,
and I sing to remember to breathe.
I sing for you,
I sing for Love,
I sing for me.
I sing to learn,
to truly see,
why they caused harm to me.
I sing, brokenhearted people
want you to feel their pain, too.
And so some will hurt you,
as they've hurt me,
because of hurt,
by somebody.
I sing to heal,
I sing to forgive,
I keep on singing,
these are hard things to live.
I sing for kindness,
I sing for truth,
I sing for revelation,
often I want them to hurt, too.
An eye for an eye,
a trauma for a trauma,
how to make this drama end?
I sing for Love,
I sing to soothe.
I sing for revelation,
I sing for truth.
Tatiana Madriaga
The Raven Project
Hannah Rosheger
Everything seems so simple at first, every pencil mark, every brush stroke. Simple is it to think we are safe in this world, that is what we are trapped to believe.
